Communication barriers

About 2 weeks ago on a trip over to Cayucos, I came across an NPR segment about an English speaking young man that could not communicate with his Chinese speaking father.  It reminded me of my relationship with my father.  He passed away in 2013.  Whenever I was in town. I spoke with him often, however, we were unable to truly communicate our feelings.  As the father was able to tend to his son's basic needs (food and shelter) he was unable to connect on a more personal level.  Thanks to an interpreter, they finally were able to have a more personable conversation.
 
December 31, 2012 was the last time I saw my father.  It was a magical day.

We spoke for hours...about nothing in particular.  But I knew it would probably be our last time.  His health had been failing yet he was too proud to tell me.  But I could see him wasting away yet keeping his standard routine of hanging out with his friends or meeting me for breakfast whenever I came to town.

On that day, I tried my best to soak in everything and cherish it.  We both knew our time was numbered and we stayed up and talked and talked and talked.  I spoke about the hurt he had over not being able to tell his mother goodbye.  I also listened to him voice his frustrations with his siblings over the years.  I even got to see his "snitch box" that he spoke about so often.  My dad hated cell phones.  he always spoke about how he had one but never used it.  I didn't believe it until I actually saw it with my own eyes...his snitch box

My mother even came over and we all spoke.  And even in that moment, we were unable to communicate those true words.  I love you.  Why could I not ever say this to him.  Why could he not say this to me?  It was awkward.  Even as I left and we both said out goodbyes, we good not even engage in a final embrace.  We just stared at each other and held in our tears.  We shook hands.  I looked down.  And held in my cries and emotions...I needed an interpreter